Of course, it's Cruniac (and Bob's your uncle)

[Verse 1]
He left Pink to escape the grind
Said, “No more titles — I need unwind”
Joined Noah  for chill… that was the goal
Now he’s R5. Classic Cruni role.

[Verse 2]
He says he hates stress, he says “not for me”
Then builds excel sheets till quarter to three
Counts frags like treasure, logs every stat
But don’t call him leader — he’s not doing that

[Chorus]
Cruniac the mild, the modest, the zen
Just a man with more frags than ten grown men
Speed-ups galore, heroes? He needs none
But hey — who needs use when hoarding is fun

[Verse 3]
Romeo’s snoring, the only sane soul
While Jim’s in Pink losing all control
Corbin’s playing victim with poetic flair
Cruni? Quiet. Counting. Fully aware but doesn't care

[Chorus 2 – The Flex Bomb]
He showed us his stash, all chill and polite
We saw over thousand frags — just… alright
Someone fainted. I bit my screen.
Rombsky rage quit and joined a knitting team.

[Bridge]
Said he needed rest, less heavy load
Now he’s leading wars and decoding code
Doesn’t shout orders, just shares a chart
And somehow rewrites everyone’s part

[Final Chorus – Bob’s Closing Words]
Now he’s the king he never applied to be
Spreadsheets open, counting quietly
Drops a “Bob’s your uncle” mid repair
Then disappears — was he even there?

[Outro]
No campaign, no plan, no royal decree
Just kindness, a bulldog, and pure strategy
He left for peace… then conquered the game
Cruniac: too calm to blame